1. Gossip: Life Groups Can Become Gossip Groups:Life Groups are not juts a place to talk about others; rather they should be a safe place that is free from gossip and condemnation. People who attend a Life Group should feel free to come as they are and share openly and honestly. If we are not careful, Life Groups can degenerate into gossip groups that will tear down instead of build up.
2. Monopoly: Life Groups Can Become a One-Man Show:
We talked about this in training, but the facilitator should not do all the talking. Encourage others to participate and share in the group discussions. I have been to some groups where only one person does all the talking. When this happens no one wants to share, much less attend. An effective facilitator encourages everyone to participate in the times of discussion.
3. Complaining: Life Groups Can Become a Place to Complain About the Church:
This happens a lot! Life Groups can become a sounding board for disgruntled people to complain about the church of Christianity in general. This is not a place to complain and slander the church. If people have a problem with the church, they need to share it with the church’s leadership, which is biblical. Protect the unity of the church by not allowing upset people to use the Life Group as a place to complain about their problems.
4. Dictatorship: Life Groups can become a Place for Certain People to Take Over:
I love this one! Life Groups can attract certain people, with interesting personalities, who will hijack the group if you let them. Do not allow people to get off the subject by chasing rabbit trails. Whenever people start getting off track in the discussions, bring them back quickly. This requires a lot of discernment and grace. A good facilitator can keep people on track and the discussion moving.
5. Self-Centeredness: Life Groups Can Become an End in Themselves:
Life Groups can sometime become merely a meeting place or a social club. Remember to always have the vision of reaching out to new people in the community. Life Groups can also serve the community. Encourage your people to reach out to others. If you become a permanent Life Group Leader, think of creative ways that you can serve together as a small group.
6. Arguing: Life Groups Can Become Places of Arguments Rather than Discussion:
It's a good rule of thumb to resist introducing items for discussion that can be divisive. Things that people might have very strong opinions on, a probably good things to avoid. Examples are politics or specific doctrinal issues in Christianity. Remember, the main goal of a Life Group is to build community and relationships. Issues that develop into arguments only move us further away from this goal.
Example: I was the leader of a Life Group many years ago and brought up a popular Christian book that I have very strong feelings about. I was not big fan of this book and made some very harsh statements, thinking that everyone was sure to share my views. Wrong! One person in particular absolutely loved this book and made it a point to share why I was so misguided and ignorant. BIG mistake that I never made again!
7. Death: Life Groups Can become Dead Ends:
Finally, a Life Group can become a dead end community. What I mean by this is that not all groups make it. It's just a fact and one that you need to accept as a facilitator. Of course, we pray that every new Life Group is successful and moves on to become a permanent Life Group, but the reality is that some just won't take root. And guess what? That's OK! Don't consider it to be a failure if your group never seems to connect. People are all different. We have different personalities, backgrounds, gifts, talents, etc., and that's what the Body of Christ is all about. Don't be afraid to talk about it if things just don't seem to be working out.
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